believe me.... i haven't missed a thing

Today someone said to me in a very sad and pitiful voice, "that's too bad that you are alone now.  I am sorry.  You have missed out on so much life and so much love." 

Me?  Missed out?  I hardly think so.

I have been loved.... a lot..... and by more than one child, and more than one man.  In fact I have been loved by.... let's see, at least 7 men that come to mind immediately - I married 3 of them.  I have had many loving days and nights.  I have heard "I love you so much", and "I can't live without you", as well as, "I'm sorry", "please forgive me", and "this is all your fault.."  Yes, I have heard my husband say, "I'm sorry honey, I've been living with another woman for the past 6 months and now she is pregnant", and I've heard, "I love you not her, please take me back".  In fact, if there is anything that a man could possibly say to his wife, I think I have heard it all.

I have driven around New York City in a limousine.  I've swam in the oceans of Hawaii.  I have hiked to the top of Mt. Timpanogos and signed my name in the book.  I have skiied with Hollywood producers.  I have been called up on stage by a concert pianist and told that I was the reason for his success.

I have received a phone call in the middle of the night and heard the words, "Mom, I made it into medical school."  My sons were on the drum line team who took 1st place at the world championships.  I stood on the sidelines and cried as the entire town showed up at midnight to escort them through the city.  I was there when my daughter won the right to perform at halftime for the Hula Bowl game in Hawaii. I have seen my children perform in plays, rock concerts, orchestra concerts, band concerts, cheer at half time and perform in dance competitions.  

I am the recipient of personal letters from both the President of the United States, and Tom Seleck.  I have said good-bye to 3 sons who I knew I would not see for at least 2 years.  I have also been there with tears of joy to welcome them home when the time came.  I have heard the words, " mom, I'm pregnant and I don't know who the father is", "mom I'm in labor",  "mom, I hate you", and "mom I love you". 

My life is full of love,  I have never heard sweeter words than, "Grandma, I love you."  And I have never heard more heart breaking words than, "I just don't care anymore."  My life has been filled with many truths, and just as many lies.  I have been understood and misunderstood, I have used a mental hospital as a domestic violence shelter and saved my family.  I have watched my best and dearest friend in the whole world steal from me.  I have made many poor choices and I have made many great choices. 

Yes, I am not living with a man.  But, no, I am not alone.  Yes, I have chosen to get off the rollercoaster ride and sit on the side lines and watch for a while.
But.... me?   Missed out on life?
I hardly think so.